*SNIFF*

I din really have a good start to 2008 so far. I was down with diarrhoea and fever yesterday and last night.. I was overwhelmed with sorrow with too much thinking, that i cried myself to sleep last night.. It's been a while since i last wept. Last time being the death of a good friend...

Kinda forgot how it feels like to cry... You might be asking me why do I feel sad for me to cry about? My answer: Everything.

Looking back at 2007, it wasn't really a good year for me... I wasn't converted to a permanent staff but got a little pay raise to keep me from jumping ship. I left YCK around CNY despite having helped there for a little over 5 years.. Apparently, I didn't sit well with some which caused me to leave before things became worse. I'm still single after 26 years of coming which worries me that I might end up like my uncles who are living alone. My uncle recently had a close brush with death which made me realise the fragility of life... I'm still unable to see any good in myself after all this while. I'm kinda like the average guy or quote from some "below-average" guy... Short, slightly overweight, skin problem, no driving licence, no car, no $$$. I'm glad that some of my friends out there continue to encourage me to keep my sanity in check. To Valerie, Lawrence, Ash, Agnes & Elaine, a big Thank You for making me feel good about myself from time to time.

However, the no. of ppl who seek to belittle me and bring me down out there are so many and I'm almost losing it...

I ever thought of running away from Singapore and start life anew somewhere. Somewhere where I won't be judged by others for who I truly am. But I just can't leave my family and a few of those I can truly call friends behind. It takes a lot of courage to do so and I'm afraid I can't do that.

I have been known to be too nice to others such that many people take me for granted and seek to exploit me which saddens me more that such people can stoop so low for personal benefit.

Stuff to do in 2008:

a) Get a driving licence
b) Slim down, (can't do much abt height anyway)

Not gotta let ppl look down upon me anymore...

Enough of my tirade, back to sleep now.